Je commence.

I almost always start journals with some kind of disclaimer (to myself?) about how I probably won't really write in it, leading to some kind of general self-depracation. From there, I move into some sweeping statements about the colour of my life at the moment, perhaps with a bit of back story to give context to "where I am" at the moment. Then, I identify some defining issues of my life that I inform the "reader" that I will be predominantly dealing with, including some relationships and some internal issue I am working out. Lastly, I put forth a few petitions to God to forgive me for my vast self-centeredness and other failings I have idenitified over the course of this, the initial entry of diary X.

So, in my disturbingly self-aware style, I am going to dispense with all that, simply for the reason that I would be aware of it while doing it.

The funny thing is that I have always written diaries as if someone other than myself were going to read them. Scratch that-- I have always written diaries as if everyone was going to read them, albiet after my death. You see, I was going to become a famous novelist, and they would posthumously compile my early writings into a volume that would inspire professors to write biographies about the vastness of my genius. I used to be obsessed with child prodigies. Strangely enough, I lost interest when I missed the deadline to be classified as one.

But one thing that I take away from that obsession is the interesting point that there is really no such thing as a writing prodigy. Certainly, children and teenagers can have an unusual level of astuteness and a knack for phrasing. But there is simply no such thing as a profound child poet as anything aside from an accident. Writing is an art that absolutely requires a depth of human experience. They say to write what you know, and how much can any eighteen-year-old know? It is a thought at once depressing and encouraging. No matter how hard I work, I can't acquire the profundity of someone much more mature and experienced. But it is wonderful to know that my writing will mature as I do.

If Jesus Christ is the incarnation of the Word, then we would do well to note how deeply words are tied to the experience of being human. So I will try to write some things, because I am alive.